Alright, I don't know what it is, but somehow these days I have trouble finding proper sleep. Must be some sort of, I don't want to say insomnia, because I don't think this is big enough a deal to give it a fancy name, but basically that's what it is, I guess. If I'd ask anybody for advice, he'd probably say 'quit gomining so much and shut down your brains already'. But how can I sleep when I once more don't know what tomorrow will bring? What am I going to do with my life? These days I find myself ready to learn and do so many different things, it's crazy. It's like some needy hunger for, you know, exploring new fields of interests, finding a way to finding out what I want.
And I'm honestly very glad that it's sort of a positive kind of dilemma. It's not like I have no interests at all or no goals to achieve, so really the question isn't about what it is that I want, but rather about what my next move is. So many things I'd like to check out, although none of them seems to be a very good idea at this point. Still I keep thinking and building castles in the sky. And I think I'm enjoying it.
I never really noticed, but so many people around me are incredibly active. And all my close friends are creatively loaded to the tips of their fingers. Only few of them seem to find a proper way to release it, but all of them try, and try hard. A few even are successful and on the right tracks to fulfill their dreams. It's exciting, and I'm really jealous. It makes me wonder if the way I'm living my life is really the right way. I usually try to avoid thinking in right or wrong, good or bad, but lately I feel like a big part of my beeing me has changed, and it's hard not to think about it in a negative way.
A great thing is, though, how very supportive and inspiring my friends are. Every talk is a step further in a direction that seems a bit brighter at the end. I agree, that's a poor try to describe a vague feeling, but at least it's a try, and for now that should be good enough. Nonetheless, I'm going to keep looking for answers and possibilities. What's the goal? I don't know, I honestly don't know. But I'm sure it's somewhere between happiness and peace of mind.
I never really noticed, but so many people around me are incredibly active. And all my close friends are creatively loaded to the tips of their fingers. Only few of them seem to find a proper way to release it, but all of them try, and try hard. A few even are successful and on the right tracks to fulfill their dreams. It's exciting, and I'm really jealous. It makes me wonder if the way I'm living my life is really the right way. I usually try to avoid thinking in right or wrong, good or bad, but lately I feel like a big part of my beeing me has changed, and it's hard not to think about it in a negative way.
A great thing is, though, how very supportive and inspiring my friends are. Every talk is a step further in a direction that seems a bit brighter at the end. I agree, that's a poor try to describe a vague feeling, but at least it's a try, and for now that should be good enough. Nonetheless, I'm going to keep looking for answers and possibilities. What's the goal? I don't know, I honestly don't know. But I'm sure it's somewhere between happiness and peace of mind.
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