Lost My Vision

I just realised that in the past couple of weeks I have completely neglected my camera. I used to have it in my right pants pocket at all times. I even remember talking about this with my brother K, who is an eager photographic enthusiast. I find it shocking, because it's a discipline that I used to take somewhat seriously. I trained my focus everyday, I wonder where it got lost. 

I used to walk around with much more visual awareness. I was able to see what I thought my camera viewfinder would see. I could separate frames within my vision, square cuts of real life that I could imagine would make a good photo. I used to think more polaroid-like, more three-dimensional in terms of spacial and objective perspectives. When did all this disappear? 

Today I only find traces of it when I'm at a skate spot and do second angles while someone is shooting someone else's trick, or when I'm on a vacational trip and see new places, when I'm open to new impulses. I'm almost ashamed of that realisation, it hit me like an angry, creative, uppercut fist. So that's on my list now, along with skate more (again) and read more (again).