The Reason Why

"Because I walk the world is spinning, and because I breathe everything else is alive." That's what Marty told himself every morning, over and over again. When he washed his face and looked in the mirror, when he ate his cereals and left over the sweet milk at the end, when he walked to school, especially when he walked to school.

"You're a fucking geek", that's what he was called when he entered the classroom. A fucking geek. He had heard it so often that it didn't hurt anymore. He got used to the sound of it. His classmates had different ways to greet him in the morning, it wasn't always the same. Other variations were "stupid moron" or "useless piece of shit", but except for "shut the fuck up", which he liked because of its straightforwardness and also because it didn't so much offend him or any features of his personality directly, he definitely prefered "fucking geek". 

"If you think about it," he once told his teacher, "it's not all that bad." Miss Parsons had overheard the shouting one day and asked Marty to visit her in her office after class. She was rather concerned about her student. "You know, Marty," she said, "I admire your attitude, I really do, but do you understand that what the other boys are saying to you is quite harsh?"

Marty nodded and couldn't hide a little smirk. "I know what it means, Miss Parsons, but the way I see it, the word geek is not so much an insult anymore." He waited for a brief moment, expecting his teacher to interrupt him, but she didn't. She was a good listener, and that was one of the reasons why he liked her so much. He continued. "Recent studies on linguistic trends have shown that the word 'geek' has undergone some changes in the past. While it had only negative connotations before, it has become almost a fashionable expression now."

When Miss Parsons touched her glasses Marty knew it was a sign of interest and felt encouraged to say more. "In modern youth culture to be called a geek actually requires several qualities, for example, being very knowledgeable in computers or science or computer science. So, it's really sort of a compliment." Miss Parsons was impressed. The young teacher being a sociologist was intrigued by Marty's sophisticated way of dealing with his situation. "If you put it that way," she said, "I guess you have a point." 

For Marty that was more than just what it meant. For him it was the highest possible compliment. And the thought of him impressing his teacher got him so excited that he kept talking. "And the word 'fucking', Miss Parsons. Grammatically speaking it means that I'm having sexual intercourse. And that, you will have to agree, can't be a bad thing, can it?" Miss Parsons got up and looked at Marty very differently now. He didn't understand the sudden change of air and silently repeated his last few words. The smile on his face faded.

"Oh no, Miss Parsons, I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I didn't, I mean, you and I -" That's when she pointed to the door and said, "You need to get out of my office, young man." Marty grew anxious, defeated by the look on the woman's pretty face. "But, Miss Parsons," he started again. "Out, now!" she barked. The young man turned around and approached the door. "Why can't I just shut the fuck up?" he thought. He closed the door behind him and faced the hall, an endless cold corridor. "I'm such a stupid moron," he cursed himself.

For a moment he stood still, reconstructing the conversation with Miss Parsons. When people started looking at him he snapped out of his thoughts. Slowly he moved his heavy feet and put one in front of the other. Soon he found his room, but for some reason he couldn't go in. Instead, he kept walking. Past the next classroom and past the toilets, past the cafeteria and past the janitor's room. He reached the main exit and looked out the little window in the door. "Because I walk the world is spinning, and because I breathe everything else is alive."